My son is not gay anymore! But why am I still angry?

"What! You're gay? How can you do that?! And to think you're my junior!!!"

"But, dad, I can't help it! I'm really gay! I'm a woman trapped inside a man's body!!!"

"Oh, yeah!? We'll see about that!"

And so, the father succumb his gay son to a lot of torture that even Rambo will cry for his mommah! He was tied to a tree, beaten black and blue, and was stung by bees, made to roll over a floor filled with spilled vinegar and even hanged upside down and was halfway drowned inside a well. After that, the father pulled out his son from the well and asked him again.

"Are you gay!?"

"No, dad. I'm not gay anymore!"

"Good! Now, what are you? Already a man?"

"No, dad! I'm a MERMAID!"

Nurses abroad

Two nurses are on duty.

Nurse #1: "Hey, there's a thermometer in your ear!"

Nurse#2: "OMG! Somebody's ass has my pen!"

Juan, the Macho Farmer

Farmer: "Lalaking-lalaki na talaga ang aking anak na to na si Juan! Maging magsasaka na rin kagaya ko! Juan, ano ba ang gusto mong itanim?"

Juan: "Flowers, papa! Lots and lots of Bonggacious Flowers! Hay!"

I will buy bond paper!

Juan: "Tay, bili ako ng 'bond pepper" sa tindahan!"

Tatay: "Wag kang tanga, Juan ha! Hindi 'bond pepper' ang tawag diyan!"

Juan: "E, ano ho ang tawag diyan?"

Tatay: "Kokongban!"

I have a neighbor was very much in love with the same girl for 20 years. During those years, only one question have been bugging my mind: I wonder what will happen if his wife finds out about it?

Here is another joke from a Filipino sex maniac!

If you have bad breath, you should brush your teeth! But if a woman has Bad Breasts, she should brush her TITS!

Da Coconut!

Da coconut nut is a big big nut!
If you eat too much you get very fat!

It's da coco fruit
It's da coco tree
From the coco palm family!

Hanep Talaga Pinoy!

Talagang Onle In Da Philippines!

Corny Jokes: Onle In Da Philippines!!!

Pedro was walking down the street when he accidentally bumped into an American.

Pedro: "I'm sorry."

Kano: "I'm sorry, too."

Pedro: "I'm sorry three!"

Kano (annoyed): "What are you sorry for?"

Pedro: "Alam ko ang kasunod diyan! FIVE!"

Kano (angry): "I THINK YOU'RE SICK!!!"

Pedro: "Kala mo hindi ko alam ang kasunod ha? SEVEN! O ha!!!!!"

Use This Word In A Sentence

Use *PAKWAN in a sentence....(*watermelon)

"LAST NIGHT, I DATED TWO GIRLS BUT I ONLY PAKWAN!"

Erap & Honasan

When Erap was President of the Philippines, he established a group called PACC (Presidential Anti-Crime Commission).

At that time, Gringo Honasan was a member of YOU (Young Officers' Union)....


...and they decided to merge the two groups.... PACC...YOU....

Fast Election Returns?

They say that in America, the election results are faster. After the election, say, today, tomorrow, the results are already in. But they didn't know that here in the Philippines, it's much faster:

There is already an election result even before the voting begun!

one more thing...Erap once said:

" I BELIEVE IN THE SYNCHRONIZED ELECTIONS AS LONG AS THEY ARE NOT AT THE SAME TIME!!!!"